The 'Great' Outdoors

So I’m not what you might call the ‘outdoorsy’ type. This amuses BJM no end. She’s from Yorkshire you see. Everything is outdoors up there isn’t it?

It’s not that I don’t do the outdoors. I do. I just like it clean, dry and preferably warm and sunny. I very much enjoy a walk in the country or by the coast. I just like it in the summertime and peppered with a lovely lunch and/or a cup of coffee/glass of wine or two.

In recent times, BJM has instigated something new in the Densley catalogue of activities……It’s called a Welly Walk. It basically involves everyone concerned getting wrapped up very warmly on wet, drizzly days and marching through the local countryside getting cow-sh*t and mud as far up our legs as is humanly possible and trying very, very hard not to fall over. You can imagine that my 8 year old son thinks this is amazing fun, but what took me by surprise was that both mine and BJM’s pre-teen daughters both enjoy it as much as the grubby boy. We’ve been on a few of these now. BJM is determined that I will get at least a fortnightly dose of proper country air. I leave the house typically ill-prepared usually. I own some wellies and a waterproof coat…but that’s about it. I don’t own a fleece (well, who does?!) and generally, I’m the queen of inappropriate footwear. My children are similarly inappropriately attired. (My daughter usually refuses to wear anything resembling a waterproof coat for fear of being captured and imprisoned by the fashion police. Heaven knows where she gets it from?!) BJM tends to fair marginally better. She owns ‘proper’ wellies and a ‘proper’ waterproof coat. (My boots cost £6 and have blue dots on them; BJM’s are Hunters). BJM has a fleece and layers her clothes appropriately to take account of the inclement weather. I just sport my Plain Lazy hoodie and hope that the physical exertion will keep me warm. Are you getting the picture…?

The walks, in fairness, are really quite good fun. We all get a much needed dose of fresh air, some proper physical exertion and we finish up in a warm pub. The last time we went on one of these Welly Walks, M and his two young daughters joined us. He’s also from Yorkshire, so clearly he’s made for such conditions. But he did manage to trump us. Me, I carry nothing with me; not even a tissue (very foolish considering the fact that muddy fields and 8 year old boys are a terrible combination). BJM usually carries pockets full of sweets (for bribery purposes). But M….M had a rucksack with drinks and everything in it. How professional! And how useful when the small people get fed up of wearing hats, gloves, scarves etc….just stuff them all into M’s rucksack. (Note to self: invite M on more outdoor expeditions involving small people)

It’s not just Welly Walks that are forcing me into the elements in the dead of winter. I’m also spending a rather large proportion of my weekends with the children stood on the side of a wind-swept football pitch watching my (really rather adorable) 8 year old boy play. I turned up to the last match (away) stupidly expecting to be able to drive right up to the side of the pitch. What the hell was I thinking?? And wearing?! I (completely ridiculously) decided that a hoody plus waterproof coat together with white (yes white) canvas Converse trainers would be ideal clothing for standing for 90 minutes on a muddy touchline. Oh. My. God. I have never been so cold in my entire life. On this particular occasion, braving the freezing conditions was well worth it. My lovely 8 year old scored his very first goal! However, that pleasant surprise aside, it got me thinking… I really need to bite the bullet and get some proper clothes….

This news greatly amused L. ‘Mwahahahahahaha’ was her reponse when I mentioned at the weekend that I may need to go shopping for a fleece. Mainly because I have an immense hatred for the hideous garments. (See first ever blog). I mean, who looks good in a fleece? Anyway, I have to bite the bullet. There is absolutely no way I can continue the winter outdoor pursuits of Welly Walking and football watching without a set of thermals, some proper shoes and a warm coat. Curse you the British climate! And L, please try not to take too much pleasure watching me spend money at ‘Go Outdoors’… It’s just too mean…!