Well, actually, I don’t want to grow up at all. But seeing as there’s not much choice in the matter, I like to think that aiming to be Madonna is something of a goal…
To be honest, I’ve probably wanted to be Madonna since I was about 13. J and I used to spend many a happy hour getting dressed up in all our ‘BoyToy’ finery only to take vast amounts of photos of each other (or interrupt her older brother’s guitar playing to get him to take photos of us together…) or merely to walk the streets of our childhood homes thinking we were all cool and amazing. Obviously. The photographic evidence of such behaviour still exists, but I’m reliably informed that very few people have seen it…(Right J?)
Now I don’t particularly want to make rubbish movies, date men half my age, or wear shiny purple leotards (OMG no!) but Madonna still holds lots of appeal. The woman is something of a phenomenon. Love her or hate her, there is absolutely no denying her power as a businesswoman, her discipline in maintaining that body (she is 53 you know) and her skill in consistently and successfully reinventing herself. Personally, I love her. Her music may not be the best (it really isn’t is it?), but she still holds a certain draw for me. During a rather routine task in work the other day, I decided to watch her Superbowl performance on YouTube (gotta love the ‘Tube right?). And it was amazing. The woman is a machine! And it got me thinking… I have a few…we’ll call them ‘projects’ on the go at the moment which could use a touch of Madonna-style determination and drive on my part. So, I thought - whilst watching my heroine turn cartwheels with LMFAO - I reckon I should adopt a new mantra. Taking inspiration from the evangelical youth of the USA (as you do), I’ve decided that the mantra of What Would Madonna Do? is as good as any for dealing with certain things in my life. I’d like to think I have an amount of intelligence in this brain of mine, but I seem to be somewhat lacking in a couple of areas; men (obviously) and losing weight. Intellectually, I know how to deal with both of them. It’s the translation of thought-into-action I appear to struggle with. I mean, would Madonna lie in bed until the last possible moment before getting up for work, running late, then taking the car because she’s late?? No she bloody would not! She actually probably sprint and get there in 2.43 minutes….but anyway…you know what I mean. (The fact that during the cold weather, I’ve been mostly driving to work is utterly shocking. LJ and I mapped the route on some clever online thing and it’s only half a mile away….I’m so ashamed…) Would Madonna fall off her ‘dry-January’ wagon because her brother tempted her everso slightly with a lovely cold glass of pinot grigio? Of course not! And to be honest, there are a few (in fact, it’s actually only about 2 or 3….I’m very lucky in this regard) people in my life and on the periphery of it (getting dangerously close!) who could do with a dose of the Madonnas. Would Madge allow herself to be taken for a ride?? Would she waste her time on no-hopers? I think not! She’d tell the useless a**holes to p1ss off…and never to come back. You get my drift….?
Anyway, this whole WWMD? thing seems to be having some effect. Chatting with Ka the other evening, she remarked that she hadn’t seen me this feisty in years. Excellent news! I’ve also resolved to make sure I get up 30 minutes earlier – so I can apply a proper face of slap (sheer laziness has meant that the barest slick of mascara has been applied….I have the tools to create a proper smoky eye. I just never do) and to walk the short distance to work. My brothers 10k running plan has been dusted off (I seem to remember foolishly agreeing to run some race in December along the beach at Weston-Super-Mare dressed as Santa…What was I thinking??), I have my healthy eating mojo back and I’m vowing not to suffer fools.
And this weekend, H and I have booked a rather splendid July mini-break in Dublin to see her Madge-esty (gold circle tickets don’t you know? That’s proper up-close-and-personal). Jolly good stuff.
So from now on, expect much feistiness, a lot of determination and drive and lots of fun from the more sorted MRMD. And if you dont like it (but I'm sure you will!)...tough! After all, WWMD??
(Oh…it’s not just me who has their eyes set on worldwide music stars as their ‘when I grow up…’ ideals. La told me the other evening that when he grows up, he wants to be Dave Grohl. So keep your eyes peeling in the North Bristol area for a young man beating out rhythms on…well…probably just about anything and acting in just about any rock-god like manner. It might just be him…)
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