So, I went back in for another round of this internet dating lark. I didn't really want to; there's a certain someone who I'd like to spend some time with but for a whole host of reasons (I've lost count now) he doesn't feel the same. I hate this but what can I do.....?
Anyway, the internet stuff.... I'm trying to put my theory of 'getting-over-one-guy-by-getting-with-another' into practice. I'm not sure it's going to work but you never know do you?
I digress. I've been chatting with several men – all of whom seem reasonable prospects. They're pleasant looking, not too many nasty items of clothing, no nasty home furnishings that I can see, so far so good......
I spent a rather fun evening in the week chatting via email and text with a pretty forward and quite cheeky guy who I found really quite funny at the time. We had a fun evening.....and he's really keen to meet up....but....and it's a big but; he is now totally doing my head in. That evening was fun, granted. But in the cold light of day, I really wasn't feeling it. Since Wednesday, despite me telling him I was totally unavailable until at least mid-week (trying to put him off – do you see what I did there?) he has texted me multiple times every day and left me messages on this godforsaken dating site. And I've replied to none. Is he a bit on the thick side or something? Is there something he's not quite getting? Now, as a reasonable adult, I really should get in touch and say something along the lines of 'sorry X, I really don't think this is going to work' shouldn't I? After all, my least favourite thing is being ignored. I just hate it. But still, I am a little mystified that after multiple ignored messages, he's still plugging away. Do people really do this? Without wanting to sound incredibly sexist and frankly a bit crap, it's a bit girlie isn't it? To keep on and on when you're being ignored? Anyway, I got the latest message late last night ('Hey, what u up 2 tonite babe?xxx' WTF??!) much to the amusement of the lovely BJM who left mine smirking to herself (but I hasten to add, agreeing with me that this guy's a pain in the ass and should be avoided like the plague!) I cannot keep up this level of ignoring for long though. The next message I receive will elicit a response – one he may not like, but hey, what's a girl to do? (I feel I must point out at this point that I can't cope with my cat being clingy and wanting me all the time. How the hell am I supposed to cope with a guy who's like it before I've even bloody met him?!)
Prospect number two seemed slightly more normal. Earlier in the week we arranged to meet up for an hour or so on Saturday afternoon in a fairly local pub. I was a bit nervous, it's fair to say, but up for meeting a new man (to help me get over my preferred man). He pulled up into the car park in an immaculate Audi A4 with personalised plates.....next to my filthy dirty, dented and scratched Corsa. Hmmmm.....how was this going to go? He did take a sideways look at my car, I immediately felt I should apologise for the state it was in, and he pointed out that maybe I should wash it and that there was in fact a car wash across the road. OMG! So, I was at my prickly best... We went to the bar where there was this whole scuffle about who would pay for the drinks. This bit gets on my nerves if I'm being honest. I offered to buy them, it's fine, I'm a working girl, I can afford a couple of drinks. But he did make rather a big deal about it proclaiming it to be 'a first'. I rather rudely (perhaps? I'm not so sure) suggested that maybe he was dating the wrong type of women....... And what did he look like? Well, he wasn't bad looking at all really. He was fairly inoffensively dressed. I didn't like his shoes and his hair needed work, but generally he was OK. (I know, I know)
And the chatting part wasn't bad really. (However, he had a very strong Midlands accent that I times, I'll be honest, I couldn't understand. I answered questions I couldn't really hear properly, so good knows what I've told him....!) It was OK until he told me he had dated someone I used to work with and who I know reasonably well. Now this woman, in recent months has had a rather tricky experience with a guy she met online and I spent the rest of the time with him going over in my head whether or not he was the man in question..... That rather took my concentration away from trying to decipher his accent, so in fairness, things went a little downhill due to my distraction. (My deductions were that he wasn't said nasty man, but I will be contacting her to get the low-down!) I also had in mind the thing that my good friend C always says. She reckons that if you can't see yourself shagging them, you probably shouldn't go back for a second date. So of course, that was on my mind too! And would I? Yesterday? No, I wouldn't. It's not looking promising is it? L and BJM however, think that I may be killing it too soon. Maybe, if he wasn't horrendous, he's worth a second look? I dunno. I'm sort of with C on this one. There has to be that spark I think and I just wasn't feeling it. C did actually refuse a second date with someone she admits was a perfectly nice man.....but she couldn't wake up to his chubby face everyday! (That's right isn't it C? I hope I'm not mis-quoting you!) And I really know what she means!
The date ended with a hug and a kiss and that was that. I have no burning desire to see him again and I suspect he feels the same. I sort of felt like a scruffy, tomboyish little (well big seeing as he's younger than me) sister with my dirty car and the paying for a drink and stuff. I'm just not sure I was feeling it.
So there you go. I am officially crap with men. I don't really know what I want (except the guy I can't have, obviously :( ) and I have no idea where to start looking. I'm still not feeling the love for the on-line dating. It still feels contrived and planned. I'd like something more spontaneous, more romantic really (and yes, I am a closet romantic. Where has all the romance gone? I'd love a grand gesture – not an expensive one, just a lovely don't-you-realise-just-how-much-you-mean-to-me sort of one.....sigh). As per my last blog; yes I probably am too fussy, yes my feelings for the one-that-won't-happen are probably fairly strong, no I'm not afraid of getting hurt - again. I just want something lovely to happen to me - I want someone to fall in my lap (so to speak) And yes, I know, I know, I'm living in a total dreamworld – we've been here before...
Anyway, if this men stuff doesn't work out (which is looking increasingly likely!) C and I have a plan. We'll live together with lots of cats, lots of Chinese takeaway, lots of trash TV and the occasional casual dating/sex experience....! And right about now, that doesn't seem such a bad idea!
